This Is Not An Exit

Anonymous asked: Wait a sec. You a guy or girl?

I’m not sure why this matters, but since you asked I must assume that it has some great importance for you. I would like to know why, though I presume you’re like most people who can’t go without having everything compartmentalized and labeled—which is fine, there’s nothing wrong with that if it makes things easier for you, but it would be nice if we as a species could move past all that. Of course I probably don’t really believe that, but I like typing it out because I get into these moods where I absolutely love sounding above it all. Pretentiousness, as they say, for the win.

Before I do answer your question, I’d like to take this opportunity to mention two things. One, I don’t understand the point of tailgating while driving. I don’t mean the fun sort of tailgating people do before sporting events wherein people drink piss water and grill compacted pig entrails and laugh and make merry. I’m referring to the sort of act that takes place on the road; where people drive as much as an inch behind you despite the fact you’re going the speed limit AND driving in the right-most lane. Driving right behind me is not going to get me to move faster, if anything it makes me want to slam on my brakes so you, Mr/Mrs “I Drive A Mercedes And Live In Arizona For Only 4 Months Out Of The Year And I’m Old And Therefore Entitled To Everything Because I’m Old”, will crash into me and maybe suffer a fucking heart-attack and die. Riding other cars going the speed limit is pointless. Especially if you’re all racing to a red light. 

The other thing I wanted to bring up I have just now forgotten. I had thought of a funny thing earlier at work involving a penis and being short or something, but I can’t remember the specifics, but I assure you it was rather hilarious.

So in closing, Gray Face, have a wonderful evening or day, depending entirely on where you are geographically placed. 

PS: I have a penis. Take that for what you will.

1. ehmihlee said: im not reading this. WHY DO YOU MAKE MY LIFE SO DIFFICULT, YOU WOMAN THAT HAS A PENIS, YOU!
2. borednerd liked this
3. borednerd said: Jesus christ, that was amazing. I’d tell you that you need to post more, but what kind of self entitled asshole does that.
4. twoeleven liked this
5. not-an-exit posted this